Malignant Self-Love (narcissism)
If you’ve found your way to this article then there’s probably a good chance that someone you know or someone close to you may be narcissistic or possibly even suffers with the full Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If the words ‘it’s all in your head’, ‘you’re paranoid’, ‘I never said that’ or ‘you need to see a shrink’ are phrases that you hear commonly upon confronting the person in question then you can be sure that something just isn’t quite right. In fact, you probably already realize this but just can’t seem to put your finger on it.
These are all indications of subtle mental abuse. Narcissists like to convince their victims that they are crazy via projective identification. Upon being confronted, denial and repression kicks into action and the narcissist manipulates their victim into acting out their rage for them. Narcissists suck and leech on the mind, emotions and soul of their victim. It’s almost as though they are feeding on their victim’s feelings and for this reason narcissists are commonly referred to as emotional vampires. They suck on their victim’s confidence, self-esteem and sanity in order to regulate their own egotism
Reassuring words that you probably want to hear right now are ‘it’s not you’ and if you’ve found yourself reading this article then it probably isn’t. You may already know this from memories of earlier times in your relationship with the person in question, although it’s still difficult to cope with because the narcissist seemingly has everyone around you fooled thinking that they are as good as gold and would never hurt anyone and that you are the one to blame. However, you should always remember that you do not have to prove anything to anyone – you know the truth.
Although close friends and family members may have a biased opinion towards you thanks to the narcissist’s crafty devious and manipulative distortion campaign of your reputation this is not something you should be concerned about, they will come to their senses in time.
If you genuinely are dealing with a narcissist then they will most likely have you tied into their game of manipulation which is commonly referred to as ‘the narcissist’s dance’. The narcissistic abuse wears down at the victim’s soul, the victim loses interest in hobbies they were once passionate about, they feel worthless and devalued and have been put through a process of devaluation, dehumanization and objectification. After this comes dissociation.
When you reach the end of your tether and can’t take the abuse any longer and you are about to make or break, despite the fact that you have been left with no money or anyone to turn to, the narcissist then offers you relief from those feelings knowing that the relief from all the confusion will suck you back in then they repeat the process and spit you back out and do it all over again.
This is something which is never likely to change, narcissists very rarely change or even make the effort. They would rather repress awareness of their narcissistic traits and convince everyone that you are the crazy one, even if you know the facts and have solid evidence – they will never admit the truth. Their deceit is pathological.
Going for relationship counseling or therapy with the narcissist in your life is a bad idea. Narcissists have what is commonly referred to as a super-human capacity for manipulation, they are cold and calculating and often manipulate the therapist or counselor into taking their side and then they both proceed to tag-team the victim.
In fact, many narcissists get into a therapeutic career in order to mask their narcissistic traits which upholds the false sense of self which then projects them as being a good person whilst placing them in a position of authority.