by: Lurleen Hilliard – Tarantino Productions LLC
This issue is one that has been brought to my attention on many occasions and it is something that not only infuriates me, due to the forced abuse on the child or children involved, but the fact that some Family Courts are enabling this abuse and any child abuse is illegal under all Laws in every state and yet some courts and judges are actually encouraging it and ignoring the devastation that it causes on the innocent victim the child or children who irrespective of how much their parents may hate each other, they still love them unconditionally as mom & dad, and should be allowed to have both in their lives.
A Protective Order is issued or should be issued solely to protect one person from another and possibly a child if there has been proven abuse on this child and on the person filing for the order. However far too many women in particular are Abusing the courts and these orders so that they can keep the child away from their father. This is not out of fear NO this is out of them manipulating the system and playing victim when in many cases, they are the abuser and they are who the child needs protecting from and not the loving dad. A proportion of attorneys are as guilty as these women are as they know full well that there is no need for a order of protection but the $$$$ is more important to them, rather than the welfare of a child which should be paramount in any court.
Far too many women are now abusing these orders so that they can ensure their ex and the father of their child can’t see, speak or have visitation with their child. As to do so would be to breach the order of protection that the mom filed and sadly many file it out of malice and not out of any fear at all. He is in a catch 22 situation. Either he risks contacting her so as to organize to spend time with his child or children and she files a breach of the order, OR he has to follow the order and then his rights under any Custody Order are been breached as he can’t get to spend the time with his child or children. This is called Parental Alienation and under the US Senate it is considered a form of Child Abuse. So why are so many Judges and Attorney’s getting away with Enabling the Abuse of an innocent child without them having a basis to do so.
No child asks to have a particular mom or dad, but they love them all the same. And yet these children are been used as pawns just so that one vindictive and controlling parent usually the abuser herself but who has filed for the Protection Order, simply so as to hurt her ex and because she knows that she can. This is wrong and these women should be held accountable for their actions I know of one incident were the father was not even notified of the court proceedings, nor his attorney and an Extended Protection Order was granted and he now hasn’t seen his child in months, solely because she is too young to contact directly and he doesn’t want to be charged with breaching the order. This is total Child Abuse and very wrong and criminal in my opinion.
Below are the basic details on what an Order of Protection Is and How it is obtained. As not all are aware of what it is issued for. I have picked one state to get this information on and it is TN, but in general the basics for the order are the same in each state.
What is a protection order?
A order of Protection is a paper which is signed by a judge and tells someone who is hurting you to stop or to face the possibility of serious legal consequences. It offers civil legal protection for victims of
Domestic Abuse
Sexual Assault
Stalking
Both men and women victims may be eligible for a protection order. However, you must meet certain relationship criteria in order to file,and be able to provide evidence to back this up.
Am I Eligible to File for a Protection Order?
Protection orders in Tennessee are designed to protect victims of domestic abuse, sexual assault, or stalking.If anyone has stalked you or sexually assaulted you, you can ask the court for a protection.If you someone has abused you (committed domestic abuse), you need to have a special relationship with him/her to get a protection order. You can only seek a protection order because of domestic abuse if the abuser is:
Your spouse or ex-spouse;
Someone you live with or used to live with;
Anyone you are dating or used to date;
Anyone you are having a sexual relationship with or used to have a sexual relationship with;
A same-sex partner you’ve lived with, dated, or had a sexual relationship with;
Anyone you are related to by blood or adoption; or
Anyone you are related to by marriage or used to be related to by marriage.
So I would ask all of those that work in Law Enforcement – Attorneys – Judges – Courts and any body else that deals with the applications for Protection & or Restraining Orders to really ensure that the person filing is the one in need of protection and also that they are not manipulating the system solely out of hatred for their ex partner or ex spouse. A child is the innocent in our world and let us all try to ensure that they grow up without abuse either by a parent or other adult and most certainly not by the court and legal system that is meant to protect them in life and not enable a life of forced abuse through Parental Alienation.
Falsely Accused 
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This is a much more serious issue than what is acknowledged by the media, the courts, and society in general. At a time when fatherlessness is becoming an epidemic, and our jails become full with those who suffer from it, more needs to be done to protect the rights of fathers and their children from this kind of abuse.
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This is a justice system issue that desperately needs to be reformed. I don’t feel the judges or attorneys are educated on narcissistic abuse or domestic abuse or protecting children in the right ways. It is a scary place as a parent who wants to protect their children from a narcissist and all the intimidation and abuse they encompass. All the damage they have and will continue to bring to a child’s life. They charm their way through the courts and tell lie after lie. The courts allow and enable the behavior. They enable the deadbeats who don’t pay their child support to keep not paying. They enable the fathers/mothers who abandon their children to come and go as they please and continue to cause damage to the child. These children then grow up repeating these same cycles. It should be mandated that family court judges hold a psychology degree also.
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Hi, recently I became a newbie blogger. I had just wrote a post on this topic yesterday due to my own situation with my ex husband, the custodial parent and holder of my fate, being my alienator from seeing my 7 year old dsughter. I came across your post by one of my tags and was truly glad that I am not alone out there on this topic and glad to see others bringing this problem out into the open so that more people will become aware of it themselves to be able to acknowledge it when they see it. It is truly a sick and horrible thing to do to both the children and or parent that this is happening to. I myself was a victim of this as a child and seen my mother do this to my father. I also remember the devastation I felt due to it. It is not something you tend to forget as you grow into an adult and it never will. I mentioned in my post that I hate that first off my child is now going through this at my ex’s hand and there is little I can do to protect her from it because of what the system and my ex have done in court. I am also now having to relive the horrible memory of what I have already been through all over again. I am finding I feel helpless and desperate for a resolve to this matter and it hurts me to see my daughter hurt expecially when I can’t save her or change what is happening. My ex could literally care less about how this affects our daughter as well as how it will continue to do so. As long as he can’t have me the way he wants she and I will suffer. So, if nothing else I wanted to thank you for your post and to let you know I personally appreciate it.
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Thank you!
I still can’t believe how many people contact me over this problem.
People who file these false reports only care about themselves! Even if it means hurting their own children they don’t care, as long as they hurt you & get what they want! My ex-roommate goes after girls young enough to be his daughters who have young children, from what I hear, now. He’ll trick some young girl into marrying him (he’s afraid to be alone) & I feel sorry for her when she figures him out & tries to leave him! I’m so happy he’s no longer my problem!
I hope every thing works out for you as well & I’m sorry to hear your having to go through this.
Glad to hear you’ve started a blog. Letting people know what happened will help you & others. You never know what might come from it also, my last gift from my ex turned out to be the best he ever gave me. Hopefully you’ll be saying the same one day.
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I Completely agree and I wasn’t really expecting you to comment me back but greatly appreciate it. It’s always kinda nice to hear from others going through what I am and if nothing else a safe place to vent. Thanks
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