The Power of False Accusations

Being publicly  accused of a crime one did not commit could lead a person to jump off a bridge. Once the information is out there, defending yourself, clearing your name, fighting suspicion and tolerating disdain is a horrible predicament.

People with little information can form strong opinions and take unwarranted retaliatory action from expulsion from the clan to spreading the false word.

If the accusations are not true, the person is in a situation that is similar to being bullied. Even if one is rich, successful, famous or “has it all,” the psychological devastation can be ruinous. If you are not believed, if you cannot fight back with the true story, if now you are distrusted and under scrutiny, the sense of helplessness is overwhelming. People with inner vulnerabilities are easy targets. Others sense the fragility and find it thrilling to gang up or attack. Having a scapegoat can help a group form a strong bond and find meaning in what could be otherwise empty lives.

It is widely known that people with certain kinds of pathology are brilliant at looking like victims when they are actually perpetrators. They can ruin the life of an innocent person.

When you hear a story, consider the narrator. Who is this person? Why is he/she telling this story when he/she is? What feelings does he/she convey when he/she tells it? If there was true victimization, then the wish to retaliate is utterly understandable. You as the listener may feel like crying too. But what if the true story is not as it seems? You might have a strange lack of empathy. Sometimes people dramatize. Some lie or they feel so injured for rational or irrational reasons that they come to believe their own distortions. There are those who are at peace when they lie and those who toss, turn and torture themselves about doing so. In short, some people lie and some do not.

You might wonder as you listen, is this person truly seeking wellness, self-protection or justice or is the goal to destroy someone else? If a person is lying to hurt someone else it is a very aggressive act and the accuser needs help. Such choices do not foster a healthy existence with generous, loving relationships.

You might hear a tale of woe, and just have the feeling that the teller is not all that woeful. Maybe there is a need to blame or malign for secondary gain: attention, fame, money, importance or drama. Maybe the person is not in touch with reality and is retaliating against an imagined transgression. Some seemingly intact people can have paranoid fears at the core. In order to “defend” themselves they act against others. Maybe the goal is to take someone else down for competitive, regressed, or even unconscious reasons. They just want what the other one has.

Making a false accusation in a public way is an aggressive act. In the movie The Bad Seed, a sociopathic child has an angelic demeanor and manages to destroy many lives. Sweet faces, soft voices and tears can hide sadistic impulses. If you know someone like this, the best thing you can do is steer clear and build up your own life in a positive, separate way. Time takes away the sting, people eventually figure out the truth and recovery is possible. You may be stronger, better, savvier after you get out from under this mess you did not create.

by: Carrie Barron

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One response to “The Power of False Accusations

  1. Reblogged this on sweetsurrender922 and commented:
    Perfectly written!! And when she says to “consider the narrator”. I can not express the fundamental importance of this statement. The person may be charming, popular, admired in the community, well-educated, disarming, funny, and even idolized by some but focus on the message, not the messenger. This is extremely difficult when there is are intimate dynamics going on, but it is crucial to separate the words from the actions. Trust your instincts. At first you may compassionately side with this tall tale of woe wondering how such mean, horrible people exist when he calls them crazy stalkers. How many crazy stalkers are there? Honestly, think about it. And then put it into context, for example, does Brad Pitt have that many crazy stalkers? Does Russell Wilson have that many? Who is this person that says all these obsessive “friends” can’t let it go, that they want to warn others and save the world at the messenger’s expense. Seriously? If it sounds far-fetched and delusional, its because it is. That is not reality. Especially when you start putting the little pieces of the puzzle together among other pieces, soon you will see the bigger picture. Research it. Look past the person and investigate what is said. This is not illegal. This could be a matter of your life.

    Like

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